Judson Lewis

Queer Currency

Federal Reserve Note This:

I am applying to be the face of your new $3 bill! My portrait will be stately—only three-fifths as gay as Lincoln’s. Imagine my capital curls and a gold standard smile (hold those pixel wrinkles though). Your green’s a bit putrid and so last season so press me magenta—with a lavender lining. I want frills, sparkles, and ribbons of rainbow (at least!).

Secretary of Treasury, I think your signature will tickle me. :) In this newer age, order needs a fruitier face and they’ll all make it rain to this smile. They’ll know they’ve arrived as these eyes mirror the myth of their affluence.

Ben Bernanke, roll me into the coke straw you call liberty. Quantitatively ease me into your Keynesian kleptocracy. Worth. Symbolize me with your illustrious Illuminati. Worth. Bedazzle me with your sparkles of authenticity. Print me into infinity. Inflate me and make me multiply. Press me wet. Bleed us dry.

With Humility and Perfect Hair,
Judson Lewis


Judson Lewis is a comedian and poet whose work has appeared in the Offing, HeART, and Word's Dance.