My girlfriends photos post of them abroad;—
Guys’ profiles often say they love to travel;—
But me?—I’d rather leave the globe untrod,
Since fleeing home makes everything unravel:—
While gone, I worry ’bout my chickens’ health
And garden’s keep in someone else’s care,—
A migraine get,—lament the loss of wealth,—
And, ’cause I can’t work out or write, despair!
Although your web profile made zero mention
Of this polemic issue—(cuckoo!)—(loon!)—
Let slip you your, till now, concealed intention:—
“We’ll journey ’round the world together soon!”
“Wha-what?!” I gasped—and made a fast egress;—
I need to pack some bags:—the answer’s yes!
Some couples flip off lamps and candles light
To dial the ambiance more luscious,—hotter;—
Some switch the furnace off and build, at night,
A charming fire;—we shut off the water!
Babe, nothing sets the mood like four or five
Trips to the hardware store because the first,
Second and third times home we did arrive,
Some part forgot we for this job accursed!
And nothing says romance like full-on panic:—
Like knowing, since you fucked up, it befalls,
We can’t cook, wash or flush tonight—mechanic—
Or watching rivers gush down through the walls!
I’m so glad we tooled back for one last screw;—
My shower’s fixed:—I need it,—after you!
Liza Achilles is a writer, editor, and poet in the Washington, DC, area. Her nonfiction articles have been published by the Washington Independent Review of Books and the Silent Book Club international organization. She has also written for Pleasant Rowland (the founder of American Girl) and the Obama White House. Her unpublished chapbook, Two Novembers: A Memoir of Love ’n’ Sex in Sonnets, chronicles her amorous and sexual experiences during one memorable year. She maintains an active and growing blog for readers and thinkers at lizaachilles.com.